Nurturing Self Trust

All my life I have been described as stubborn. Embedded in this trait is a deep sense of trust in myself. I have not always had clarity to know why something was right for me when others disagreed, yet there was a felt sense I experienced, a piece of a thread, which instinctively I knew I needed to trust. Admittedly, I have not always known how to navigate my steadfastness with grace. However, if I took the time to follow the thread I eventually learned that there was an element from the situation which indeed required my trust. Trusting my instincts, against the odds, has enriched and enhanced my personal growth. Going against the grain or stepping into the unknown is not always an easy choice.

So what does Trust feel like? For me, it is a felt sense in my body, usually in my gut but it can also be in my heart. There is a quality I both hear and feel when a thought or word is spoken which stands out from all of the rest, like a pregnant pause and/or a crystal clear tone. You know when you hear someone speaking their truth, there is a tone to their voice that is different that causes goosebumps on your arms? The tone I hear when the truth has been spoken within myself or by another is the same - crystal clear, sharp and to the point. At the same time, I feel this clarity of tone in my body, subtly but distinct. The quality of the signal has never changed over the years. Having nurtured this pathway of inner knowing, I now recognize and deeply trust the signal to pay attention.

So, once you receive the signal, what do you do? Well, for myself, and the many clients I have seen over the years, this is where stubbornness often comes in. The mistake often made is to perceive the initial signal as the whole truth, instead of what it actually is, the alert system. You are being alerted where to place and pay attention to. The skill becomes remaining open and receptive to learn more. What happens for some of us is we clamp down and cling onto the knowing and what we perceive to be the truth. If we keep following this path we often end up shooting ourself in our foot, injuring our movement forward.

The trick is to follow the string, the piece where the crystal clear tone was strongly felt and opening up to the possibilities that arise there. For example during a session with a client, after the meditation when the awareness of what is occurring in the body is stronger, awareness can drop deeper into a specific part of the body that is more activated and witness what is present and needing to communicate at that time. The body speaks in metaphors. So, when following the string there is a dropping into the body and then surfacing back into the known where the metaphor or images can be processed. With growing trust and awareness one can return to the body to then shift the somatic pattern. Being open to trust the flow of communication between the unknown and known builds a stronger relationship with yourself. Self-awareness, self-compassion, self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-love, self-care, self-forgiveness, and self-worth all grow when you trust, build and strengthen the pathways of communication between your body, mind and spirit.

Just as importantly, especially in these radically changing times in our society, communities and relationships, these pathways of connection streghten not only within ourselves but with others and our environment. Learning to trust your intuition and evolve the instinct into knowing is a skill which can support your discernment of what the truth is for you and how you need to proceed. Building your self trust helps you to have more empathy for others. Currently there is a lot of clamping down and clinging on to “our personal truth’s” that is dividing us. Many of us know instinctively there are injustices being experienced by many populations - Blacks, Browns, Indigenous, Asian and other minorities, elderly, mentally ill, poor, LGBTQ, women - which needs to be shifted in our communities. When there is a flood of information coming at you, getting quiet is the antidote as it is really hard to hear when there is so much noise.

Each of us has our own Truth to follow, our personal North Star. Discerning what yours is at this pivotal moment in time means getting quiet and listening within. Pay attention to where you are being guided to listen to your intuition. Then trust and follow the string.