Energy Flow & the Connection to the Nervous System

Have you been experiencing exhaustion during the day, even though you may have had a good night’s sleep? Let’s look at how our energy flows in and around our bodies and connect these patterns with what is physiologically occurring in our nervous system.

Energy flows four ways: push, pull, allow and withdraw. Or in the language of our nervous system: fight, flight, harmony and freeze.

So let’s look at the flows of energy and the corresponding nervous system response.

Push

When you wake up tired, do you force or push yourself out of bed? Or, you maybe you are concerned that if you stayed in bed it is a sign that your depression has returned so you “make” yourself get up. Once up, you are still tired, yet you make yourself go on with your day - you push through.

I need you to hear there is nothing wrong with your choices. What I would like you to do is become aware of how, why and when you are pushing your energy.

It could be that you are a nurse in the emergency room and in order to be heard over the noise in the room or by the semi-conscious patient that you need to push your voice to be heard. It could be that you are a parent who works full time and to accomplish your daily tasks you need to push through your day.

What is important to be conscious of is that push is the fight mode of our sympathetic nervous system. When we are stressed we push ourselves energetically. In our society, in an effort to meet societal expectations, a large majority of the actions we are doing involves pushing ourselves to do what we perceive needs to be done. What is vitally important to be conscious of is we are pushing our body from the place of our thoughts and our emotions. We hold a belief or value that what we are doing is important to us thus this perception is driving our momentum forward. How our thoughts push us forward is a key to how to shift the energetic impulse of pushing or fighting. The action we are choosing to engage in may indeed be exactly what we need to be doing. Being more mindful, present and at peace with the choice releases some or all of the pressure in doing what you need to do. With less push, our nervous system can regulate itself, even while doing the same activities that before you were doing with the pressure of push energy.

Pull

Do you have a friend who drains you when you are with them? They may talk without taking a breath or talk continuously without engaging you in the conversation.

This is an example of pull energy. The individual is inadvertently taking energy from you for themselves. Yet there are other ways we pull energy.

Sometimes, in response to a spouse or a teenager who is ignoring you by withdrawing into themselves, we will try to pull them out of themselves by complaining, shouting, asking questions, or talking at them. Our actions are attempting to energetically pull the other person out of themselves yet frequently this action usually has the opposite effect and the individual goes deeper into themselves which is an example of withdraw.

Pull has a fight component to it and yet it is also a flight response as fear is at the foundation of this energetic response. At its root, you are pulling another’s energy to you to fill up and take care of a need you have, which at some level you perceive you are unable to give to yourself.

Thus, when it comes to our nervous system, the key to flight is to return home, return to your body and ground. You need to pull your energy back into you and receive your source of energy from within instead of from outside of yourself.

Withdraw

There are times in our life when we go inward and reflect. This can be a healthy action. There are other times when we go inward to avoid our emotional pain or trauma. When we do so, we close ourselves down to both our own needs and to the needs of others around us. We can also withdraw by leaving our bodies, a form of dissociation which is created during a traumatic event which evolves into a trauma defence when triggered.

Withdraw can be either a flight response with the autonomic nervous system when you are in avoidance. Or, withdraw can be the parasympathetic nervous system response of freeze when you are dissociating.

Both nervous system reactions require awareness as the first response, as awareness allows the opportunity for a new response to evolve.

For avoidance, the situation or person one is in reaction to requires understanding and problem solving to shift the behaviour.

For freezing, thawing can not occur without first being aware that you have dissociated or frozen in the first place. The important piece to be conscious of is when you unfreeze, your body, mind and emotions are all in the state that they were in when you froze. This state can be the state you were in during the original trauma or a similar state, yet not as intense, which resulted in your current frozen response. This place is an old wound which can stir up the feelings from the original wound. There are many ways to transmute the old energetic charge. For the purposes of this teaching, safety is the key. To begin the withdraw process or be present during the unfreezing, we need to feel safe in our environment, with ourselves, and/or with another person. Ideally, you want to be safe with all three or at least with one of these modalities.

In terms of our parasympathetic nervous system, this is the rest and digest response (learn more https://www.emergewellness.ca/blog/rest-and-digest) Safety is resting. Digestion is once your system has come into regulation, working with a therapist, talking with a friend, journal writing, or speaking with a spiritual advisor to transform your unhealed wound so you are no longer triggered.

Allow

If you have ever done sports, played an instrument, engaged in writing, drawing or creating of any kind where you are in what many refer to as “the zone”, then you have experienced allow. You are in the flow of the present moment, present and fully engaged with what you are doing.

You may love playing freely with your children or grandchildren. You may love sewing or quilting. You may love cooking a meal for your family and friends. You may love hiking in nature. You may love to dance.

The key is you are in your heart, loving what you are doing. You are enjoying life and all of its bounty is coming back to you.

Allow is when your Vagal Nerve is regulated and your autonomic nervous system is in homeostasis. When something comes up which unbalances you, like a crying child while you are cooking, you can support her and return to what you were doing with ease. You are in the flow and can easily regulate yourself.

Summary

All four ways we use our energy are natural modes of movement through life. One is not better than the other. What we need to be aware of is if one is being used more frequently and if so, how this is consequently impacting our day to day functioning. If there is an imbalance, how is the energy pattern effecting your health? Review the key points for each energy pattern to determine what changes you can make to support your nervous system.

Is it time to slow down and take a breath? Are your expectations of yourself and others effecting your behaviour? Did something just happen that scared you? The energy pattern is providing you with clues about your health and wellbeing. Your nervous system provides further clues on what new choices you can make (learn more https://www.emergewellness.ca/blog/stress-response).

Our energy patterns are intimately connected to our environment and the people in our lives. Start to become more aware of how you are energetically engaging with others and their energetic response back to you. In future blogs we will explore more intimately our energetic defence patterns and how others respond to them and ultimately why you have the pattern in the first place. For the meantime, be open to witness how push, pull, allow and withdraw show up in your relationships………without judgement.